April is National Poetry Month

I just discovered, while reading the Bangor Daily News, that April is National Poetry Month. Thankfully I realized this while it is still April! In honor of National Poetry Month I am going to post one of my late son's poems. Vinny passed away in July 2008. He was only 32 years old. Vinny was bigger than life. He was a world traveler, an adventurer, a linguist, a staunch republican, a Christian, a muscle man and a poet. Vinny also suffered terribly with alcoholism and it eventually got the best of him. Perhaps he felt too much. The poem is quite deep and speaks about his struggle with alcoholism. Poetry is written, often, to make people stop and ponder the words. I hope you will read this poem and ponder it's words.


I have posted several pictures of Vinny while he was serving as a linguist in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Kirghistan . Most of them were taken shortly before his death. One of the pictures shows Vinny sitting in one of Saddam Hussein's castles in Iraq. Another photo is of Vin with his girlfriend, Saltanat. She lives in Kirghistan. And, there is a picture of Vinny standing with his pastor, Rev. Thomas Schallor.


Weak Men Love Much......

Haven't I brought disgrace to Thee?
Haven't You always provided for me?
What's to question? I know my heart is drenched with wicked sin.

Please, oh God, forgive me and let grace through faith begin.

Each time when I am up my failure comes as sudden rain.

I crave it in my bones, my heart is wanton and I cannot foresee the pain.

There in the midst of my misery, You I do not forget, You are all about me.

Here, there, all my thoughts lead to You; there is no place to flee.

Though further into separation do I sink.

I welcome the oblivion of my mind so I do not have to think.

This is not what I want, this is so wicked, my mind judges me still.

There is no peace in me. I can never get my fill.

Haven't I left this place behind?!

It came so suddenly I must be blind.

What kind of monster am I to do such wicked things?

Lately when I come to worship I cannot even sing.

I feel so wrong I cannot even look some men in the face.

Because I know it's You they represent in Your place.

What have I become? Please rescue me from myself.

How? How is it You call me Your treasure and wealth?

I am a man of unclean lips and a perverse heart.

Will I ever have the stability to let Your love start?

Oh, my judging, Pharisaical life.
What sort of husband would I ever make for a wife?

I just can't seem to get ahead.

Seems I am better imprisoned or dead.

Who am I to judge even one time?

When your wrath has been slight for the multitude of iniquity that is mine.

You haven't maimed me. I always have food to eat.

You gave me a mum whose words are tender and sweet.

I feel like a child that gets another chance.

Your mercy and grace make me want to dance.

I, from a generation that is wicked as the day is long.

I'm not worthy but you keep giving me your song.
What love? What love is this?

Instead of wrath You gave me a heavenly kiss.

What is it? How You are I cannot begin to understand.

What a masterful, marvelous, wonderful plan.

Thank you, God, thank you for being so patient with me.

Each time You make me Your trophy it helps me to see.

It's not my sin, nor is it any longer I.

You do not change, You do not lie.

I'm in Your hands. I'll never be taken from You.

You're with me until the ends of the earth, what ever I do.

Myself, being the worst and wretched of all.

I always puff up before I fall.

I expect the hail, the warrior cherub's fiery swords.

I wait for plagues and curses by the hordes.

I hang my head in shame, walking through Your doors in defeat.

Yet, You speak to me softly and tell me I am loved.

You tell me I am hidden heavenly places above.

You speak of times, of days of old.

When You strengthened men and made them bold.

You speak of meager men whom you have made great.

You speak of men to proud to meet their heavenly fate.

You speak of nations who lead an entire nation fold.

You speak of a Royal Heavenly status that, even now, we hold.

You speak of our adversary and how we must flee.

Thank you for this hope that excites me and keeps me alive.

Thank you for loving me and telling not to strive.

Thank you, Dear Father, for calling me son.

How special I feel that You gave Your life to make me one.

Your birth had one purpose; to free my life and make it Yours.

This was done for all; You died for the generations, men and women by the scores.

Oh yes! That is my purpose! To tell those lost about your plan so sweet.

Thank you that I can always run to You.

Without You, God, what else would I do?

Vincent Paul Galkowski 12/75-7/08

A Trip To Maryland With My Autistic Friend

I can't believe it was March 30 when I last posted a blog! Wow! Time does fly! I've got to pay better attention! Anyway, did you know that April is National Autism Awareness month?

And, since April is recognized as National Autism Awareness month, I thought I would write about a road trip I took with an autistic young man whom I was caring for at the time. Because I need to protect his privacy I will call him Roger. Roger was about 31 years old and he was nonverbal except he could say a few words. He did understand what you were saying to him and he could respond appropriately to yes and no questions. He also used a computer to communicate with others. Physically he seemed to have no disabilities. But he could not be left alone and he needed assistance with his personal care. He lived with me and I was his caregiver for about one year.

My sister, Stacey, had invited Roger and I several times to come visit her. Roger loves to travel and really wanted to go on this adventure. Roger had traveled some in the past and had done quite well. In fact, he had flown on an air plane accompanied by a caregiver. But, that was before I knew him. Finally, we found the time and got all the necessary permissions from everyone involved in Roger's care and we took off for a few days to visit my sister in Maryland. She lives on a beautiful old farm in Baldwin. Stacey is pictured on the right with her husband Johnny and two of their horses. Above is a photo of the peacock that wandered freely about the farm.

The drive to Baldwin, Maryland is 12 to 14 hours from Warren, Maine, according to traffic and other problems that arise. I know it took Roger and I 14 hours to get there. We stopped at least every two hours to move around, eat and use the facilities. Thankfully, it was summer and the weather was nice. We finally arrived that evening. Roger was so tired that he ate a quick snack and I helped him get ready for bed. He slept well.

Over the next few days we enjoyed the farm life and my sister's company. Roger loved interacting with all the farm animals. Stacey took lots of pictures of Roger holding chickens and petting other animals. Animals are so great for bridging the gap in communication. They don't care who you are. They like you if you like them and Roger sure liked them! I can't post the pictures Stacey took of Roger, but I can post photographs of my sister's farm and some of the wonderful sights Roger enjoyed. The pig's name is Charlotte. If you look closely, you can see that there are two donkeys in the picture below. Their names are Jack and Alice. They are married. They roam around the farm free and do very funny things. Roger got a big kick out of them. Who wouldn't?

We did fun things like eat supper at the picnic table on Stacey's veranda in the middle of her beautiful flower garden while listening to the cicadas. We did make a trip into Baltimore to go to church at the Greater Grace Ministry and we went out to eat. Roger handled everything quite well and I know he had a good time. So did I.

Finally it came time to go home. We had a good trip home except for one little incident. At a highway stop a man approached us in the parking lot asking for money. Although I didn't let on I was a little nervous as I was a woman alone with an autistic young man. Roger didn't seem to be upset. I gave the man a couple of bucks and he went on his way. Whew!! How do you spell RELIEF!? The rest of the trip home was uneventful.

Roger doesn't live with me anymore. But, I have to say during his time with me I learned a lot from him. I don't regret one minute of it. I had never cared for an autistic person before so Roger sort of paved the way for me. He did a great job and I will always be indebted to him. Thanks Roger and I'm glad we had that trip to Maryland!